I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
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He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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