I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
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aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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