I'm gonna have a badass scar
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
be right there i have to get my cape
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize