College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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