I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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