Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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