Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
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All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
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He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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