i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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