Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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