I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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