is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
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There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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