She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize