just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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