my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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