i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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