there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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