I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize