DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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