I think I won the penis lottery.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
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He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
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I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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