I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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