there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I love you.
Bad choice
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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