cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize