you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize