The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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