Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize