I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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