Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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