$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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