apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
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just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize