We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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