Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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