If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
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they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
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i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize