I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize