Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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