At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize