it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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