Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize