Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize