Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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