All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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