If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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