I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize