Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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