ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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