nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize