I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
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I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
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i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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