guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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