i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
tell your sister to shave her snatch
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize