She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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