i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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